We decided to write this one together, because for once we actually agree on something. We just got done watching "the game" with Dad. We noticed a few things we'd like to share with him, and with all of you other silly adults who watch that thing called "football".
1. They can't hear you. No matter how loud you yell, how much you encourage them, or how stupid you say they are, those people in the TV can't hear you. We know this because Mom told us so when we were yelling at Swiper the other day.
2. No, the guy with the ball couldn't "see him coming". Obviously, guys, if he could have he wouldn't have run that way. No one wants to get pushed around and knocked over. I mean, jeez, it's just common sense! Just ask Burt what it's like when Em lays on him and won't get off...
3. No, the Ref isn't blind. We don't think they'd let him wear that shirt and have that cool whistle if he couldn't even see because then he wouldn't know when to wave at everyone and throw his hanky around. We're pretty sure he has to be able to see SOMETHING! And Dad, you miss the ball most of the time when we throw it, so who says you can see any better?
4. We think it's just plain silly that a bunch of guys run around and jump on each other for a dumb little ball that isn't even the right shape to roll and kick. We don't understand why you all want to sit and watch them be silly. Why not just watch us? We're waaaay funnier! :-)
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I Did It!
Man, I've been working hard the last couple of days. Dad and I have worked on the roof, fixed the basement door, and today I learned about noses and ears.
Ok, so Dad did the work on the roof, but I sat down below and told him how he was doing. Mom and Em tried to help too, but they didn't do as much as me. I gave dad WAAAAAY more advice than they did! I told him to move stuff this way, or to pound harder, and I let him know when he dropped stuff.
Then I helped him by holding and checking his tools while he worked on the door. I told him stuff then, too, but mainly I just made sure his tools wouldn't break if he pounded them against different things. I checked against the floor, the bench, my stroller, and dad's feet. I also brought him drinks, although most of the time he wasn't ready for them. He made a lot of noise, and a big mess, but he says that's how we know we're getting something done, so I guess it's ok.
But I'm really excited about the noses and ears thing. Dad and I sat on the couch last night and he taught me that I have a nose and ears, and so does he. He kept finding mine, and I would find his. Then he tried to get me to find my own, but that was boring. It was much more fun to play with his nose and ears, mainly because there was hair in them, and also because he made funny noises when I pulled on them! He also tried to teach me about hair, but that didn't work very well because I don't have much of it, and he doesn't have any! Mom thought it was pretty funny when he kept talking about hair and I would laugh and shake my head "no".
Anyway, while some people were having a boring weekend, sitting around eating and talking to each other, I was busy as can be. I learned about fixing leaks, about fixing doors, and I learned where my nose and my ears are. Those are going to come in handy when I need something to play with. I DID IT!
Ok, so Dad did the work on the roof, but I sat down below and told him how he was doing. Mom and Em tried to help too, but they didn't do as much as me. I gave dad WAAAAAY more advice than they did! I told him to move stuff this way, or to pound harder, and I let him know when he dropped stuff.
Then I helped him by holding and checking his tools while he worked on the door. I told him stuff then, too, but mainly I just made sure his tools wouldn't break if he pounded them against different things. I checked against the floor, the bench, my stroller, and dad's feet. I also brought him drinks, although most of the time he wasn't ready for them. He made a lot of noise, and a big mess, but he says that's how we know we're getting something done, so I guess it's ok.
But I'm really excited about the noses and ears thing. Dad and I sat on the couch last night and he taught me that I have a nose and ears, and so does he. He kept finding mine, and I would find his. Then he tried to get me to find my own, but that was boring. It was much more fun to play with his nose and ears, mainly because there was hair in them, and also because he made funny noises when I pulled on them! He also tried to teach me about hair, but that didn't work very well because I don't have much of it, and he doesn't have any! Mom thought it was pretty funny when he kept talking about hair and I would laugh and shake my head "no".
Anyway, while some people were having a boring weekend, sitting around eating and talking to each other, I was busy as can be. I learned about fixing leaks, about fixing doors, and I learned where my nose and my ears are. Those are going to come in handy when I need something to play with. I DID IT!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
But I Wannnna!!!!
Ok, so mom and I were headed out to go get food this morning. Burt was at home sleeping, and so was dad. We drove past the bus stop, and everyone was standing around. Mom stopped to talk to some people, and she let me get out and play with the kids. They were all big kids, but I think I kept up pretty well. Some girls said I was really cute and they sat and colored with me. A boy came and knocked me over, but I didn't even cry. I was so proud!
Anyway, the bus came and all the kids got on. I could see them going up the steps, and then a couple of them waved at me from the windows. I ran after them, and I was actually on the steps, when mom caught me and made me get down. She said I couldn't get on there, and I was so mad.
I sat down right there in the street and screamed at her. "Momma no! Emmy go a 'cool bus!" Mom still said no, and the driver just shook his head and said "Maybe next year." Then mom was really mean and said I had to wait 3 years! I don't even know how long that is, but it must be really bad. Anyway, I started crying and kicking mom. I didn't really mean to kick her, I was just kicking at the ground because I was so frustrated!
Mom put me back in the car, in my car seat, which just reminded me that I was a "little kid", and it made me even more mad. I was shaking my fists and waving my arms around, and I hit mom. Then she got REALLY mad at me. She said, "Emily Rose, knock it off, now!" She never calls me that except when I'm in big trouble. So, I took a deep breath, I looked at her, and I asked her, "Mommy mad? Mommy, you ok?"
Then she just looked at me, said "Thanks for calming down. I'm ok." and gave me a big hug. But.....
I STIL WAAAAANNNNNAAAAA GO TO 'COOL!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, the bus came and all the kids got on. I could see them going up the steps, and then a couple of them waved at me from the windows. I ran after them, and I was actually on the steps, when mom caught me and made me get down. She said I couldn't get on there, and I was so mad.
I sat down right there in the street and screamed at her. "Momma no! Emmy go a 'cool bus!" Mom still said no, and the driver just shook his head and said "Maybe next year." Then mom was really mean and said I had to wait 3 years! I don't even know how long that is, but it must be really bad. Anyway, I started crying and kicking mom. I didn't really mean to kick her, I was just kicking at the ground because I was so frustrated!
Mom put me back in the car, in my car seat, which just reminded me that I was a "little kid", and it made me even more mad. I was shaking my fists and waving my arms around, and I hit mom. Then she got REALLY mad at me. She said, "Emily Rose, knock it off, now!" She never calls me that except when I'm in big trouble. So, I took a deep breath, I looked at her, and I asked her, "Mommy mad? Mommy, you ok?"
Then she just looked at me, said "Thanks for calming down. I'm ok." and gave me a big hug. But.....
I STIL WAAAAANNNNNAAAAA GO TO 'COOL!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, August 14, 2009
The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!
This morning Mom woke me up before it was even light. Then she made me get dressed in my Tigger overalls. I HATE my Tigger overalls. Then we got in Dad's truck and I couldn't even see out the windows because it was still dark. Doesn't everyone know I get sick when I can't see out the windows? Then we stopped for breakfast and Em got the pancake part of the McGriddle, while all I got was the sausage. I like sausage, but I wanted the pancake, too. It's going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!
Then Mom got me out of the truck and put me in a stroller. I hate being in the stroller. I can't see anything, and there's nothing to do. We stood in line for a long time. Then mom got me out of the stroller, took my shoes off, walked through a short tunnel, and put me back in the stroller again! It's going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I can tell.
Then we got on an airplane. It was too small. I couldn't even stretch my legs out on Mom's lap. Em got her own seat, and she didn't even like it. I tried to tell mom I wanted to switch with Em but she wouldn't listen. Then Em got to listen to the good music, and I had to listen to the man in front of us as he snored. When the flight attendant brought us drinks she wouldn't put my juice in my cup, and mom spilled half of it while she was trying to fix it. Then the flight attendant wouldn't smile at me when I was playing peek-a-boo with her. Em got peanuts, and all I got was ginger cookies. I hate ginger cookies. It's going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!
Then we got off the plane and I was excited because I thought we were at Gamma's house. But then we got on another plane, and I thought, "I'm going to Australia."
The second plane was worse then the first one. I got stuck on mom's lap again. Em got mad because she wanted to get out of her seat and mom wouldn't let her. I had to listen to Em cry. The flight attendant was nice, but she wouldn't let me have peanuts. Then she took my cup and my napkin before I was done playing with them. Mom changed my diaper in the bathroom and when I tried to sit up I hit my head. I can tell, this is going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!
When we got off the plane, Gamma wasn't there. Grampa was. We got lunch, but only after we drove around for a long time. Then I had to eat spaghetti. I like spaghetti, but I don't eat it very well, and I wanted to show off for Grampa. Em got more than I did, and she didn't even eat it all! Are we in Australia?
Then we went to find Gamma. I fell asleep in the car, even though I tried to stay awake. Em fell asleep, too, and when Mom woke her up she cried again. Gamma's house smells funny. It looks funny. She doesn't have the right toys. Everyone keeps touching me and holding me. I just want my Momma. This is definitely a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I'm going to sleep now. Good night.
Plane ride 8/12/2009 from Pittsburgh, PA to Des Moines, IA with layover in Memphis TN (go figure!)
Then Mom got me out of the truck and put me in a stroller. I hate being in the stroller. I can't see anything, and there's nothing to do. We stood in line for a long time. Then mom got me out of the stroller, took my shoes off, walked through a short tunnel, and put me back in the stroller again! It's going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I can tell.
Then we got on an airplane. It was too small. I couldn't even stretch my legs out on Mom's lap. Em got her own seat, and she didn't even like it. I tried to tell mom I wanted to switch with Em but she wouldn't listen. Then Em got to listen to the good music, and I had to listen to the man in front of us as he snored. When the flight attendant brought us drinks she wouldn't put my juice in my cup, and mom spilled half of it while she was trying to fix it. Then the flight attendant wouldn't smile at me when I was playing peek-a-boo with her. Em got peanuts, and all I got was ginger cookies. I hate ginger cookies. It's going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!
Then we got off the plane and I was excited because I thought we were at Gamma's house. But then we got on another plane, and I thought, "I'm going to Australia."
The second plane was worse then the first one. I got stuck on mom's lap again. Em got mad because she wanted to get out of her seat and mom wouldn't let her. I had to listen to Em cry. The flight attendant was nice, but she wouldn't let me have peanuts. Then she took my cup and my napkin before I was done playing with them. Mom changed my diaper in the bathroom and when I tried to sit up I hit my head. I can tell, this is going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!
When we got off the plane, Gamma wasn't there. Grampa was. We got lunch, but only after we drove around for a long time. Then I had to eat spaghetti. I like spaghetti, but I don't eat it very well, and I wanted to show off for Grampa. Em got more than I did, and she didn't even eat it all! Are we in Australia?
Then we went to find Gamma. I fell asleep in the car, even though I tried to stay awake. Em fell asleep, too, and when Mom woke her up she cried again. Gamma's house smells funny. It looks funny. She doesn't have the right toys. Everyone keeps touching me and holding me. I just want my Momma. This is definitely a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I'm going to sleep now. Good night.
Plane ride 8/12/2009 from Pittsburgh, PA to Des Moines, IA with layover in Memphis TN (go figure!)
Monday, August 10, 2009
Fwimmin'
Ok, so yesterday Em and I went swimming. I don't know why, but she keeps calling it "fwimmin'" which is crazy, because that's not what it is! Anyway, after Mom got me dressed and put nasty sun screen on me we got in the truck and went for a drive. I kept waiting to see the water, since that's what Dad said we were looking for. I even tried to sing to it and call it, but of course no one understood what I said (not everyone speaks hydrotongue like I do). Em screamed the whole way because she didn't want to wait. Silly girl. Like that's going to make anything better!
When we finally got there, I was kind of bummed. We went into a house, and of course everyone knows there's no water in a house. Then we went outside and all I saw was green stuff. We sat around for a while. I tried to go look for the water, but no one would let me. They kept carrying me back to Mom and Dad, which kind of sucked, because that's a lot of effort to keep crawling around on the concrete and through the grass. Just when I was about to give up hope, someone mentioned that "swimmin'" thing again. I kept watching, but no one got up.
Finally Mom got changed and we went and found the water. It was cold at first, and I screamed. I mean, come on, if you're going to play in the water, it should at least be nice and warm, right? But then I got to splashing around and started kicking. Mom put me in this stupid seat thing and I couldn't move. She finally took me out when I almost flipped myself over. After that she put these stupid things on my arms.... I looked like a dork. But it was kind of cool because then I was floating around without any help! It was awesome! While Dad watched me, Mom and Em played. Em kept jumping off the steps and making mom catch her. I still don't understand that part. Em would go clear under the water and then have to wipe her face off when she came up. She kept swallowing water and spitting it out. What fun is that? But, she wanted to do it, and Mom was smiling, so I guess it's a good thing. Then Em got stuck in this plastic ring, and she kept floating around and rolling herself over in circles. I guess she thought it was fun, because she kept laughing. She was kicking and moving her arms a lot, but she never really got anywhere.
Then we got out and ate, and I didn't like the food, but the fruit was good. The Pepsi was good, too, even though mom yelled at me for getting into it. ;-) Em got in trouble for hitting someone, but I think he kind of deserved it, because he took her ice. The big people sat around and talked some more while I colored with the chalk. I made nice pictures until Em sat on them with her wet butt and smeared them. I got kind of mad, but she gave me a cookie, so I guess it was worth it.
Then we got back in the water and I got to float around some more. Man, this water thing is cool! Finally, a place where I can move just like everyone else! I got my face wet a couple of times. I'm still not sure about this, but I guess it's just one of those things. Em played again, too, and she and mom were doing that thing on the ladder. Maybe it's a girl thing....
Anyway, when we got out, we had to get ready to go home. I helped Dad with my straps on my seat, but he didn't seem like he was very thankful. We need to work on that! I guess I fell asleep, because the next thing I remember was when Dad got me back out of my seat, and we were at home.
I ate some pizza for supper, and then I was getting really tired. Mom put me to bed and the next thing I remember, they were waking me up for therapy this morning. It doesn't get much better than a day of water and sleep! I think Em feels the same, because they had to wake her up, too. I wonder when we're going back.....
When we finally got there, I was kind of bummed. We went into a house, and of course everyone knows there's no water in a house. Then we went outside and all I saw was green stuff. We sat around for a while. I tried to go look for the water, but no one would let me. They kept carrying me back to Mom and Dad, which kind of sucked, because that's a lot of effort to keep crawling around on the concrete and through the grass. Just when I was about to give up hope, someone mentioned that "swimmin'" thing again. I kept watching, but no one got up.
Finally Mom got changed and we went and found the water. It was cold at first, and I screamed. I mean, come on, if you're going to play in the water, it should at least be nice and warm, right? But then I got to splashing around and started kicking. Mom put me in this stupid seat thing and I couldn't move. She finally took me out when I almost flipped myself over. After that she put these stupid things on my arms.... I looked like a dork. But it was kind of cool because then I was floating around without any help! It was awesome! While Dad watched me, Mom and Em played. Em kept jumping off the steps and making mom catch her. I still don't understand that part. Em would go clear under the water and then have to wipe her face off when she came up. She kept swallowing water and spitting it out. What fun is that? But, she wanted to do it, and Mom was smiling, so I guess it's a good thing. Then Em got stuck in this plastic ring, and she kept floating around and rolling herself over in circles. I guess she thought it was fun, because she kept laughing. She was kicking and moving her arms a lot, but she never really got anywhere.
Then we got out and ate, and I didn't like the food, but the fruit was good. The Pepsi was good, too, even though mom yelled at me for getting into it. ;-) Em got in trouble for hitting someone, but I think he kind of deserved it, because he took her ice. The big people sat around and talked some more while I colored with the chalk. I made nice pictures until Em sat on them with her wet butt and smeared them. I got kind of mad, but she gave me a cookie, so I guess it was worth it.
Then we got back in the water and I got to float around some more. Man, this water thing is cool! Finally, a place where I can move just like everyone else! I got my face wet a couple of times. I'm still not sure about this, but I guess it's just one of those things. Em played again, too, and she and mom were doing that thing on the ladder. Maybe it's a girl thing....
Anyway, when we got out, we had to get ready to go home. I helped Dad with my straps on my seat, but he didn't seem like he was very thankful. We need to work on that! I guess I fell asleep, because the next thing I remember was when Dad got me back out of my seat, and we were at home.
I ate some pizza for supper, and then I was getting really tired. Mom put me to bed and the next thing I remember, they were waking me up for therapy this morning. It doesn't get much better than a day of water and sleep! I think Em feels the same, because they had to wake her up, too. I wonder when we're going back.....
Saturday, August 8, 2009
August 8, 2009
Tonight we went out for supper. Mom and Dad promised us Chinese, which I love because I'm 2 and I can use chopsticks (sort of). I wasn't at all happy when we stopped to get dad a stupid coffee maker because, as everyone knows, coffee is "yuckies". Then, just when I was getting really hungry, and when I thought we were headed for the restaurant, Mom needed to grab diapers for Burt (boys pee sooooo much!), so we had to stop again. I got tired of waiting in the store, and Mom and Dad were just standing around staring at the diapers (sort of like cows looking for the best grass), so I took a walk. I met a nice woman who said "hi" to me. I saw some Soothies, though I couldn't reach them, and I hid behind a rack of clothes while Mom and Dad searched for me. It was kind of fun, but not as good as food.
When we finally got to the restaurant I had to wait while Mom changed Burt (gucky diapers) before we could go in. And then when we got to the table, I had to sit and wait while mom got me food. I was hoping for something good (like jell-o) but got Lo Mein and garlic chicken instead. Don't get me wrong, I like Chinese, but there's nothing like french fries and jell-o for dinner!
Burt made a mess of himself, as usual, but it was funny to watch him rubbing sauce in his hair while Mom yelled at him and tried to hold his hands down! I was so busy laughing that I jabbed dad in the arm with my chop stick, and then he took it away (man, that sucked). So, I had to eat with a fork, which just isn't right when you're having Chinese.
After dinner, I had ice cream, which was good, but Dad wouldn't let me have Coke with it, so I was bummed. I tried to entertain myself while Mom and Dad talked, but they got mad when I stood up and bounced on the seat of the booth. I mean, come on, what are the seats so bouncy for if you can't jump on them? It makes no sense!
The lady took for ever with the bill. Mom and Dad were talking, Burt started screaming, and then Dad got frustrated. I hate when that happens because he yells... well, ok sometimes he yells, but not when we're in public. Burt kept screaming and started throwing forks and spoons at Dad. Dad took everything away from him, but Burt kept finding more things. I was proud of him for remembering what I told him about hiding stuff between his legs while he eats. Mom and Dad never pay attention to where the silverware goes, and you can stick a lot of stuff down there! Anyway, mom pulled Burt out of the highchair and held him, and he just kept screaming and started pulling on her hair. Mom said a not nice word and made Dad hold Burt then, since Dad has no hair for Burt to pull.
I felt like screaming then, too, because I was so bored. I tried to climb down under the table to go over to Mom's side, but Dad caught me and got mad. He made me sit on his lap (how humiliating) and I started to cry to see if he'd let me go. It didn't work. Mom said she was taking us outside while Dad paid, and I thought, "Oh man, finally something to do." Unfortunately, mom just made me run around on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. It was almost worse than sitting inside, at least until I found that gum stuck to the ground and started playing with it. But then, you guessed it, Mom yelled at me for that so I went back to running.
Then Dad came out and we went home. Man, talk about a stinky dinner. Maybe next time will be better, but I doubt it. Anyway, Mom's yelling at me to go to bed, so it's time to start asking for drinks and stories. Later!
When we finally got to the restaurant I had to wait while Mom changed Burt (gucky diapers) before we could go in. And then when we got to the table, I had to sit and wait while mom got me food. I was hoping for something good (like jell-o) but got Lo Mein and garlic chicken instead. Don't get me wrong, I like Chinese, but there's nothing like french fries and jell-o for dinner!
Burt made a mess of himself, as usual, but it was funny to watch him rubbing sauce in his hair while Mom yelled at him and tried to hold his hands down! I was so busy laughing that I jabbed dad in the arm with my chop stick, and then he took it away (man, that sucked). So, I had to eat with a fork, which just isn't right when you're having Chinese.
After dinner, I had ice cream, which was good, but Dad wouldn't let me have Coke with it, so I was bummed. I tried to entertain myself while Mom and Dad talked, but they got mad when I stood up and bounced on the seat of the booth. I mean, come on, what are the seats so bouncy for if you can't jump on them? It makes no sense!
The lady took for ever with the bill. Mom and Dad were talking, Burt started screaming, and then Dad got frustrated. I hate when that happens because he yells... well, ok sometimes he yells, but not when we're in public. Burt kept screaming and started throwing forks and spoons at Dad. Dad took everything away from him, but Burt kept finding more things. I was proud of him for remembering what I told him about hiding stuff between his legs while he eats. Mom and Dad never pay attention to where the silverware goes, and you can stick a lot of stuff down there! Anyway, mom pulled Burt out of the highchair and held him, and he just kept screaming and started pulling on her hair. Mom said a not nice word and made Dad hold Burt then, since Dad has no hair for Burt to pull.
I felt like screaming then, too, because I was so bored. I tried to climb down under the table to go over to Mom's side, but Dad caught me and got mad. He made me sit on his lap (how humiliating) and I started to cry to see if he'd let me go. It didn't work. Mom said she was taking us outside while Dad paid, and I thought, "Oh man, finally something to do." Unfortunately, mom just made me run around on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. It was almost worse than sitting inside, at least until I found that gum stuck to the ground and started playing with it. But then, you guessed it, Mom yelled at me for that so I went back to running.
Then Dad came out and we went home. Man, talk about a stinky dinner. Maybe next time will be better, but I doubt it. Anyway, Mom's yelling at me to go to bed, so it's time to start asking for drinks and stories. Later!
Introduction
A Day In The Life is my take on the life of my two young children, Emily (2) and Burton (1), as they learn and grow through exploring the world around them. It's also my chance to share amusing stories, cute moments, and all the other "stuff" that comes with being a mom. Whether you are a family member keeping up with the latest news, or a stranger tuning in to check out the latest humor, you are welcome here and welcome to post comments and suggestions. My only request is that, as this is a "family-oriented" site, please keep it clean!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
